Chic Wolf

Hit by Cabs in a Man Recession

So I have neglected my blog! Shoot me!!! Goal a minimum of 3 times weekly…Encourage me to keep it!

Not tons to report since The Shoe Shamer... *sigh*

There have been a few dates, a hand full of hook-ups, and a couple guys that I liked enough to want to see again the next day. Others that I am trying really hard to forget.  Tragically, I have moved all of them into my Blackberry file known as "Hit by Cabs." The fact of the matter is I never hear from them again or they are out of towners or ummm yuck.

However, there has been one consistent guy...Mr. Delta. Probably one of the most decent men I have ever met. He just gets it! Our relationship is more of a cuddle and watch movies type of thing vs. sex with no strings. It is so uncomplicated and for some unknown reason makes sense. He keeps my faith. Thank you!

Is the recession affecting dating too? Pondering hmmmmm. At the moment, I am in the worst man recession in history. Not a prospect in sight. A Twitter friend www.twitter.com/singleinatlanta put this out to the universe, "Is anybody else besides me wondering when that random 'Sliding Doors' moment is gonna happen for them?" I retweeted, "Every single time I get on MARTA." Wouldn't that fiction be a lovely reality?

I just received a BBM from My X. Hello has been seeing a guy (she's one up on me) who is just not that into her after 2 dates and sex. Needless to say she is upset.  Don’t worry Hello, I feel your pain.  He is out there…right?  My X explained that our entire circle can't find a man to save our lives. It has really got me to thinking…are we the problem? If so…what are we doing wrong?  With the exception of Twat, my entire New York circle is single. This is not (at least I think) by choice. The same holds true for my Atlanta circle. We are all Young Urban Professionals, attractive, smart, chic, and very well dressed. So where are the other YUPY people? Are others experiencing this problem?  Everyone refers to me as "the glue" that keeps us together. I hope my misfortunes haven't tainted that glue.

Pooky put it best, "New York [and Atlanta] men are so spoiled." Can’t argue with that as I am one of them. That is the ugly truth.

My Head is in the Clouds…Yours is up Your Ass

Wow! I don’t even know where to begin!

For the past few weeks I have been seeing Meester…During my blog neglect he has earned a new (and far more appropriate name) The Shoe Shamer.

Now I have always been attracted to creative types. Writers, artist, or assholes. This guy is different. He is in insurance and does something similar to Ben Stiller’s character in Along Came Polly. Met a girl at Joe’s randomly last Thursday, who does insurance and asked her about it. She said, “not many people are smart enough to do that, he must be void of personality.” Ok, so I wouldn’t say that about him but he had figured out just how to make me nuts.

May 29^th The Bestical and I met The Shoe Shamer for a late lunch, cocktails, early dinner at Joes. I was so excited for my functional platonic relationship to approve of my new sexual one. We were having a lovely liquid lunch dinner with me being googly eyed. Somehow my shoe fetish came to be the subject of conversation. For the next 10 minutes he sat and chastised me for my “extravagant” spending. I couldn’t believe how fast my crushes stock was falling. He asked “do you plan to marry rich?” Then laughed at the very idea. He continued to say that I informed him that I have an ongoing spending problem and since I have no ‘401K’ should be very worried. FUCK YOU!!! I’m an heiress that will rival that of Paris Hilton…except my money is in windmills… (I’m hoping anyway)

I can’t remember the last time I was that angry! (Probably when I was with my college boyfriend) Who is he to judge me after only ‘hanging out’ 4 times. The Bestical, always my protector, knew I was furious and came rushing to my defense. What was exactly said next is a blur. I was furious!

I excused myself and went to the bathroom to calm down. I returned to the table to find the check waiting. Dutch treat only and always (unless the guy offers to pay.) Clearly pissed and not speaking, The Shoe Shamer thought it would be an appropriate time to make his exit right on the corner of 10^th and Juniper. He put his arm around me and said “I guess I’ll see you later.” I grabbed it threw it off trying to control myself from throwing him into traffic. I lit him up right on that corner for a good 10 minutes. Again, I couldn’t tell you what I said but only that the Bestical said “Oh Lord” and on the inside I was laughing hysterically! Turned out he loved that I would put him in his place. He admitted “I tend to speak before I think.” I let it go and we continued on to have a fantastic evening.

Now don’t pain me a total cunt diva! I can let thing normally roll off my back. I’m really not sensitive or temperamental, but The Shoe Shamer just knew how to get under my skin. I hadn’t felt that feeling since I was with my college boyfriend either. He was smart (but artistic) and knew just what to say to get my panties in a bunch.

May 31^st…Memorial Day. We are hanging poolside on the 7^th floor activities level. We had seen each other all weekend where he introduced me to his INCREDIBLY kinky sexual side (more on this to come) We had been sitting out sunning ourselves all afternoon having a great time. It happened to be B-Ri’s birthday June 1^st and all agreed dinner and cocktails were in order. We planned on this Irish Pub to celebrate. Naturally, I had to shower and changing into something dinner appropriate. I asked him if he would like to shower and if he wanted to borrow clothes. He instantly got nasty and said “if this place is so pretentious that they won’t allow me in wearing my bathing suit, then they don’t need my money…Do they?!” Can’t argue with that, except on top of sweating profusely, he peed in the pool earlier that day (I couldn’t find the key fob for the restrooms.) I realized right here that this was doomed; someone who couldn’t even change our of their bathing suit for a birthday dinner. How the fuck would he act if and when I took him to NY? He would eat everyone I love alive…I was disappointed.

 

I have had my share of wild sex, but The Shoe Shamer introduced me to kink I have never dreamed. Now every time over the few weeks we had even attempted to get naked, it would turn into this porn epic that would make even ChiChi LaRue blush. I can handle it (well not as easily as I could a decade ago as a teenager.) He was a particular fan of this thing called ‘The Velcro Bondage Bed Sheet.’ I’m not gonna lie…it was hot!  Made for some interesting experimentation…

June 4, a quiet Friday at home. I receive a late afternoon text wanting to know my plans for dinner. In an attempt to be romantic, I invited him over for a home cooked dinner. (Yes, I can cook!) He loved the idea! I quickly ran to the store for chicken, herbs, cheese etc. I told him to pick up a movie along the way for an after dinner make-out/pillow kissing session for which he gladly obliged.

Slaving over a hot stove he shows around 8:30. I had gone to all the trouble to make this lovely dinner, and thinking he would follow my cue would get a gushy movie. He shows with an idiotic Jack Black movie about pirates or something ridiculous. I crack open a bottle of wine and serve a very nicely plated entrée. We nosh and have interesting conversation. I was truly enjoying his company…

We finished eating and I told him to relax while I clean up. He happily obliged (since he had apparently been the only one who worked that day) and retreated to the sofa to watch me. I just finish cleaning when he starts kissing my neck. The boy knows what he’s doing, he was sure to let me know he had years of professional practice.

We are kissing deeply, pressed against the washer when we move the party to the living room. It started out as very romantic. Something that intimacy between us had been anything but. I found it incredibly erotic that we were actually going to explore a different avenue other than a cheap porn flick. Next thing I know, he wants it rough and dirty. I just smiled and kept the momentum of the romantic encounter going. He tried again, I kept kissing and looking at him saying ”I want to see your face.” Again, reverting to his confrontational self he starts sulking. Buzz-kill!!!

This is how it played out…

Me-“why does it always need to be porno?”
TSS- “because I like 69.” (I can appreciate this but I had to let him know…)
Me-”Look if I want just porn style fucking…I have an Adam account. I’m trying to date you and part of that is getting to know you intimately too.” No answer…surprising. “I have never argued with someone more in 3 weeks than anyone else in my entire life.”
TSS- “that’s because I’m assertive and know what I want.”
Me- “no it’s because you’re an asshole who love to debate.” Get the fuck out!”

On that note he did just that. I must admit I was sad to see him go…I really liked him. I think he knew it was doomed from the beginning too. I’m glamour he’s numbers. Just like oil and water, Starr and Al Jones…They just don’t mix

*Just an FYI…if you didn’t know I have a real shoe obsession. Love them and will treat myself occasionally to an overpriced designer pair. BIG FUCKING DEAL!!!

Meet Meester…

In an effort to get myself out and meeting people in person, (ref previous posts) two of my Fauxcialites B-ri and TK have coerced inspired me to join the summer kickball league. (New city = New me) I’m so not sporty spice but spectator spice at best. So B-ri introduced me to our team ‘bottoms up’ captain. We did the obligator intros and then proceeded to meet everyone else in his ‘clique.’

I immediately found myself eye locked with this cute guy I’ll call Meester. We started this witty banter (I was amazed how rusty I was) that turned into good conversation for the remainder of the evening. Good enough to where we agreed to meet Wednesday for drinks and exchanged phone numbers before parting ways. (No I did NOT go home with him)

We agreed on Burkhart’s (another dive but not in walking distance) at 7 o’clock. Arriving exactly on time (I’m very punctual) I receive a text “Just finishing up washing the puppies with their medicated bath. Will text you when I leave the apt. 10 minutes from here to Burkhart’s. Text you on my way.”

Annoyed, I proceed inside and sat at the bar. I would have left but an older gentleman and I started conversing. Hello was entertaining me too via BBM. Realistically, what the fuck else did I have going on anyway?

A half hour later, Meester shows. OMG he was even hotter in the daylight! We pick up right where we left off. It was going so well that casual cocktails became a dinner date of sushi!

Is it rare to go on a date and feel like you have known someone for years?  That is a huge Cliché…right?

It was kinda like that. Which is a good thing…I think.

We finished the night at Aurum (my favorite spot) It reminded me of an old Hollywood movie. Sitting in a posh lounge, on a gold tufted sofa, talking, touching and THEN…he grabs me and we start to kiss.
I’m not going to lie…I found it very romantic. Yes-I do believe in romance!!

We ended the evening in front of my building. We kissed and I said goodnight. (Normally, this is where I do the night cap and then sex thing)

I hit it off with this guy…Why would I screw up a great night with a lousy fuck? After all…it was a pretty good date…

SATC II from WWD.com

Can you believe it has been 2 years since the release of the last SATC movie? I was so excited to see the continuation of the series all wrapped into a two hour package!

On such a momentous occasion I really felt it only appropriate to go with my girlfriends.  However, I was in a new relationship at the time and wanted to be with my guy. Thankfully he was as big a fan as me.  We ended up having a great time that night!

This time around I’m going to do it up in SATC style. I’ve decided to fly to New York to go with my girlfriends. We’re totally going to make a night of it complete with our best goinoutfits and designer shoes.  Maybe fate will intervene and one of us single gals will meet our Big. 

Anything is possible…Right? 

Generally, I’m not a huge fan of going to the theatre. One-it’s expensive; Two-the seats are dirty and uncomfortable; Three-I refuse to pay $35.00 for popcorn and a diet coke. These are normally two things I never touch, but for some reason I always want them.

I found this article about SATC 2 on www.wwd.com I got really excited and want to share it with you. Be sure to follow them on www.twitter.com . They are my biggest source of information along with www.CNN.com

ENJOY>>>>

http://bit.ly/baqu80

Staycation

 

It has been a fantastic weekend. The weather = perfection; which has been ideal for social afternoons on the 7^th floor activities terrace at Metropolis, the premier residence and place to see and be seen in Atlanta’s queer culture.

Have you ever seen the video “Sunrise” by Simply Red? http://bit.ly/cvtAVc  Best Visual of the terrace I can give. Beautiful women, HOT Guys, it’s really an urban utopia for sun and body worship. Really love it!

There is most definitely an unspoken etiquette for luxuriating…
1. All body hair needs to be manscaped waxed to show any definition you’re working
2. It is critical that you have a short cute bathing suit…Thankfully I’m going North and will be able to retrieve these out of storage
3. Cocktails or beer are critical to the illusion of being social and must be consumed
4. As with any real estate…location, location, location…not only for the best sun but for the best people watching (be sure to get their early or you risk sitting in the dark)
5. Congrats you’re lucky enough to be here

Looking around at the gays who have a few years on me I couldn’t help but be reminded of well loved leather Fendi bags that have seen many years of service, still beautiful, but tired. All the more reason to stay out of the sun I have decided as being a weathered leathered Fendi doesn’t sound appealing. (This is my last summer of sun worship)

Since gay Atlanta is a clique town, I am still earning my place. Both the Bestical and my friend B-ri have done a fantastic job of introducing me to many different people. So my social status is a work in progress but most definitely on the up (This is important to an aspiring fauxsocialite like myself.)

Let me introduce LillB a guy I met out one evening a few weeks ago. Totally nothing to write home about…short, whatevz looking, smart, balding and for some reason I find myself incredibly attracted to him.

Now there has been only one other time in my life where someone has walked into a room and my head immediately turns with all noise immediately silenced. LillB has done that to me…Is this what one might call love at first sight?

The problem is that he is one of the most unavailable people I have ever met. Not to mention he has a stunning BF (but a box of rocks.) What I can’t figure out is the nature of their relationship. We have a thing between us…filling the air whenever I see him.

Saturday afternoon I find myself sunning in the company of him and his BF along with my new fauxsocialite friends. Out of all the candy at the pool this is who we sit with!? I don’t know what it is, but I find myself smitten. I’m really not liking it one bit!

Both the Bestical and B-ri have told me that if you feel that strongly you should most definitely pursue…Wouldn’t that make me a home wrecker? Even a man-eater? Two things I would never purposely want to be.

Only time will tell…Let me close by asking fate not to let me fall for someone who is so unavailable among other things…

3 Simple Rules

Strategy is important when it comes to meeting and potentially dating someone. Since so many of us (myself included) don’t know what the hell we’re doing. I’ve been doing some thinking and ‘research’ on this topic.

I stumbled across this interesting website www.gaydatingtips.com I think what caused me to read on is their tagline ”…because most of us weren’t taught when we were younger how to date, flirt, or socialize as gay men”

Can you think of any truer words that were ever written?

I realize that this is all subjective, and admittedly only an opinion. With that said I’m going to keep this short and to the point…so here are the 3 basic rules; created (or posted) based on the rants and raving of Robin Anderson-Forbes (who better be a gay man!) Along with a few bitchy italicized comments from me…

From now on, you need to ask and get from every POTENTIAL guy you meet, 3 things:

1. Get their Name, When meeting a guy it’s a no brainer that there are two appropriate times to introduce yourself. At the initial introduction or at the end.

2. Get their E-mail address, Couldn’t hurt but I think it is more modern to exchange pin numbers for BBM

3. Get their Phone Number. So if you’re an iphone and I’m a Blackberry we can text each other and avoid actually speaking for as long as possible.

To read on, go to the website http://bit.ly/as5ejM I think there is a lot of ideas that I definitely wouldn’t take as the gospel according to Robin.

For My Girls…Not Gurlz

My 28th Birthday Party.  L-R Me, Baby, Moom, Twat, Pooky, My X BF, Hello, and The Bestical 

 

This is the first time in my life that I don’t have girlfriends around. I remember my first…A cute little read head who moved in down the street. We were five, immediately inseparable, until my father’s change of assignment when I was 9. For every gay it is essential to have a hag. I am definitely no exception! Since moving to Atlanta I have found it difficult to meet the ladies. The gays are very possessive of their girls and will fiercely fight off any opposition regardless of what side of the Mason-Dixon Line you happen to reside.

I have 5 absolutely stunning fashionista girlfriends who all reside in New York with the exception of one who broke away to LA. These ladies are my true gage of any guys, dates, or debacles that have occurred since my freshman year of College. Each one a different part of me, all a major part of my life and therefore a major part of this blog.

Insight into people’s character is always interesting.
Here a bit about each of them and why among many reasons they are so important to me
(in alphabetical order)

BABY-I turn to her when I need wisdom and advice. She reads me, knowing just how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, and the action I need to take.
HELLO-I find her to be my shoulder that listens when nobody else will. She has a huge heart and is a constant reminder that there are people like this in the world.
MOOM-I never laugh harder or act sillier than when I am around her. She keeps me from losing my childlike enthusiasm or my anti-aging secret.
POOKY-I can always confide in her for an honest and sometimes brutal opinion. She never sugarcoats and tells me what I need to hear never what I want.
TWAT-I always find myself at the top of my sexual prowess in her company. She encourages me to take a chance and be sexual even at my lowest lows and biggest heart breaks.

Don’t think that I am trying to replace any of them in my new city. They are in fact irreplaceable! It would simply be nice to have a female accessible. For one they are great shopping partners (especially if they are a fan of the Neiman Marcus shoe salon.) It’s great to have the company on dateless chick-flicks Friday night. But the best part is that they are great at introducing you to guys that they feel are ‘suitable’ for you!!!

I find it strange that in the South the gays typically have a lesbian counterpart. That so isn’t the case with us ‘Yankees’ since we generally mix like oil and water. I’m not dismissing the idea, but I am more interested in a girl who packs a Balenciaga than one who packs heat.

The older I get the harder it is to make friends. I know that these ladies along with the Bestical are my chosen family for life. We have all been there for one another through the best, worst, happy, sad, committed, single and anywhere from this point forward. I’m just hoping that I can add to my cocktail party guest list.

Isn’t that what life is really all about? Friends.

I’m back…

It has been two years since my last date. In this time, I have forgotten what to expect and all the proper date protocol. Friday night dates (I remember) were exciting.

I agreed to a date with AS. We met while out to dinner this past week. A fast talking, witty Jewish New Yorker who splits his time between Atlanta and several other major cities promoting and branding the W Hotel chain. He wanted to impress me with his expense account at the overpriced designer bar located in the W Midtown (Atlanta has 4.)

How exciting to be wined and dined maybe even 69’d at the Premier Hotel to see and be seen in town. What I found most appealing was that I could wear my party duds and Prada shoes without looking like I was trying too hard. Let  me clarify…Atlanta=the most casual city in America…A&F, flip-flops, b-ball caps, etc….

It was all a scene right out of Pretty Woman. Me-wearing black (and Prada) waiting at the bar for a rich business man prince. Even better I could order the Vodka I like and can’t afford since it was on his account. He was running late ‘because of heavy traffic.’ The anticipation of it was intense as it was my first official ‘big gurl’ (-the Bestical) date!

AS walks in looking smart and confident. Why the hell was I so nervous?! He sits down next to me giving a flawless polite kiss on the cheek. (He’s most definitely done this before) We begin with the obligatory small talk with an initial drink for him another round for me.

As the evening progressed and the drinks were flowing my Prince Charming started to become more of a Lord Farquaad. Although the witty banter had kept me interested and on my toes…I was beginning to get bored with his overly polite bragging. I don’t know if it was my body reacting to Vodka that wasn’t created from rotting potatoes or if it has been far too long since I’ve had sex, but I decided to play the Pretty Woman fantasy to the fullest and be the slut seductress. To quote Savannah in Waiting to Exhale “Hell my body needed this.” I gave the eye that said ‘okay’ and before I knew it we were in the elevator to his Suite.

So here’s how the scene plays out…

We started to kiss…What the hell happened!? My witty Prince is the Lord! Hands down the worst kisser with this Cheshire grin. Come on fate let him at the very least be a good at this.  As we moved this party into the bedroom I began to think this was a bad idea, but then I looked at the view off the terrace and decided to roll with it. From here the evening progressed into dirty talk thank you fate that he was good at that, me telling him to shut up before I gag him with his socks (AS loves to hear himself talk) and then…bliss………………

I decided to spend the night since the Bestical was entertaining his own little party at home. I woke up the next morning feeling cheap and easy and found that familiar single feeling that I haven’t felt since college. He called me a cab, said our see ya’s, and I bounced (stopping for food in the lobby-of course)  I realized sitting in the cab home…I’m back…

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Sometimes I tend to indulge (with friends) in cocktails. Last night I overindulged and found myself diving head first into the scene. I actually had a terrific time but hate how I feel the next day. More so foolish for getting so ripped than physically sick. Although today they’re running neck and neck.

After conferring with my Bestical (BFF…Love it!) he suggested that I try a new look as part of my dating experiment experience. Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in seven years. I cut off all my golden tresses and went military short or for a visual from the Suze Orman wedge to the Ellen DeGeneres dyke.
Now I am a firm believer that money is should be no object when it comes to hair. For years I have gone to the overpriced trendy salon for a cut and every third time a color. I got my hair ‘all did up’ for the bargain price of $15!

Who knew that my new du would garner so much attention while out last night?

I met a guy (JS) through my new mutual friend Adam and made plans via Facebook to meet in person at Blakes (the neighborhood gay bar.) I walk in not looking for him particularly but keeping an eye out none the less. (Let me clarify how much I hate meeting people online) I make eyes with a guy…cute, decently dressed and want to say hi. My friend B-ri makes our introduction. I then almost instantly feel my crackberry vibrate. Message from online guy…

Him…“And I liked how you picked up the other boy actually had your friend do it. Cute, typical atlanta guy!”
Me… “Rough.”
Him… ” Ass.”

Needless to say I never met up with JS. I wonder if he was watching me in absolute contempt for the rest of the evening. (Haven’t thought about it until this point…hmmm) As for the other guy he was…say ‘less than satisfactory.’ Very shy, devoid of personality, and feeling outnumbered he scampered away.

 

Where have all the cowboys gone? -Paula Cole

Come on! Don’t be shy!!!
The fear of physical rejection was more than this guy (and most) could bare. JS must have been watching me for at least 20 minutes. Was he afraid? Perhaps trying to study my habits or mannerisms before he/me saw each other. The other guy???

Ok….I admit…I sometimes get a bit nervous approaching someone and introduce myself without the obligatory height, weight, dick size interview via the net. This doesn’t stop me from doing it. Or nervous in the flip situation of someone approaching me. I still try to be witty and charming. Sometimes it works. Others it’s a strike-out.

The reality of meeting a total stranger and having a conversation without the phrases “your place or mine?” “pitch or catch?” “top or bottom” is scary for us all.  If you can avoid these it might lead to a second meeting. We’re guys so I guess at this point it’s okay to put out…Right?

Net, Sex, or No

I have been a firm believer that people would just assume dive into a running jet engine than approach a total stranger, extend a hand, a smile, say hi my name is… all while facing
(dare I say) physical (in your face) rejection. I blame technology, more specifically the internet. That’s right…I said it!!! This military inspired necessary evil has ruined people interaction. I can’t remember how many times I have cruised/been cruised (especially in the airport) only to talk to these people later via the net.

I get no valor awards as I am just as guilty.

Oh how fickle people/gays’ can be. Just like with Friendster www.friendster.com, then Myspace www.myspace.com, even now Facebook www.facebook.com, the gays’ have migrated. First Gay.com www.gay.com, then Manhunt www.manhunt.net, now Adam4adam www.adam4adam.com. There is even mobil…sex on the go! Cough up the $300 or so for an iphone and you get Grinder-The Ultimate Fuck Finder.

Don’t paint me a prudish virgin! I’m the first to admit that I have met several people in the past via these sites. Just like you, I enjoy sex.

An older gentleman named ??? and I had a long conversation about this very subject via a Philadelphia-Atlanta flight last year. He was there during the stonewall riots (so he claims); a fountain of knowledge really. According to him, “While his generation had ‘anonymous’ sex in parks, pool halls, and bathrooms, our generation has ‘NSA’ discerning taste” (at least when it comes to fucking.) Really I have never stopped to think how horny gays’/people hooked up back in the stone age. Who knew the net is our generation’s modern day bathhouse with the convenience of never leaving your home. It’s more socially conscientious too. You can now know what you’re ordering before you subscribe.

As I sit writing this at my satellite office, I see a rather cute guy a few tables away giving me the ‘eye’

Should I stop, face rejection and introduce myself or should I wait until this evening and find myself a ‘missed connection’ via Craig? www.craigslist.org