Wow! I don’t even know where to begin!
For the past few weeks I have been seeing Meester…During my blog neglect he has earned a new (and far more appropriate name) The Shoe Shamer.
Now I have always been attracted to creative types. Writers, artist, or assholes. This guy is different. He is in insurance and does something similar to Ben Stiller’s character in Along Came Polly. Met a girl at Joe’s randomly last Thursday, who does insurance and asked her about it. She said, “not many people are smart enough to do that, he must be void of personality.” Ok, so I wouldn’t say that about him but he had figured out just how to make me nuts.
May 29th The Bestical and I met The
Shoe Shamer for a late lunch, cocktails, early dinner at Joes. I was so excited for my functional platonic relationship to approve of my new sexual one. We were having a lovely liquid lunch dinner with me being googly eyed. Somehow my shoe fetish came to be the subject of conversation. For the next 10 minutes he sat and chastised me for my “extravagant” spending. I couldn’t believe how fast my crushes stock was falling. He asked “do you plan to marry rich?” Then laughed at the very idea. He continued to say that I informed him that I have an ongoing spending problem and since I have no ‘401K’ should be very worried. FUCK YOU!!! I’m an heiress that will rival that of Paris Hilton…except my money is in windmills… (I’m hoping anyway)
I can’t remember the last time I was that angry! (Probably when I was with my college boyfriend) Who is he to judge me after only ‘hanging out’ 4 times. The Bestical, always my protector, knew I was furious and came rushing to my defense. What was exactly said next is a blur. I was furious!
I excused myself and went to the bathroom to calm down. I returned to the table to find the check waiting. Dutch treat only and always (unless the guy offers to pay.) Clearly pissed and not speaking, The Shoe Shamer thought it would be an appropriate time to make his exit right on the corner of 10th and Juniper. He put his arm around me and said “I guess I’ll see you later.” I grabbed it threw it off trying to control myself from throwing him into traffic. I lit him up right on that corner for a good 10 minutes. Again, I couldn’t tell you what I said but only that the Bestical said “Oh Lord” and on the inside I was laughing hysterically! Turned out he loved that I would put him in his place. He admitted “I tend to speak before I think.” I let it go and we continued on to have a fantastic evening.
Now don’t pain me a total cunt diva! I can let thing normally roll off my back. I’m really not sensitive or temperamental, but The Shoe Shamer just knew how to get under my skin. I hadn’t felt that feeling since I was with my college boyfriend either. He was smart (but artistic) and knew just what to say to get my panties in a bunch.
May 31st…Memorial Day. We are hanging poolside on the 7th floor activities level. We had seen each other all weekend where he introduced me to his INCREDIBLY kinky sexual side (more on this to come) We had been sitting out sunning ourselves all afternoon having a great time. It happened to be B-Ri’s birthday June 1st and all agreed dinner and cocktails were in order. We planned on this Irish Pub to celebrate. Naturally, I had to shower and changing into something dinner appropriate. I asked him if he would like to shower and if he wanted to borrow clothes. He instantly got nasty and said “if this place is so pretentious that they
won’t allow me in wearing my bathing suit, then they don’t need my money…Do they?!” Can’t argue with that, except on top of sweating profusely, he peed in the pool earlier that day (I couldn’t find the key fob for the restrooms.) I realized right here that this was doomed; someone who couldn’t even change our of their bathing suit for a birthday dinner. How the fuck would he act if and when I took him to NY? He would eat everyone I love alive…I was disappointed.
I have had my share of wild sex, but The Shoe Shamer introduced me to kink I have never dreamed. Now every time over the few weeks we had even attempted to get naked, it would turn into this porn epic that would make even ChiChi LaRue blush. I can handle it (well not as easily as I could a decade ago as a teenager.) He was a particular fan of this thing called ‘The Velcro Bondage Bed Sheet.’ I’m not gonna lie…it was hot! Made for some interesting experimentation… 
June 4, a quiet Friday at home. I receive a late afternoon text wanting to know my plans for dinner. In an attempt to be romantic, I invited him over for a home cooked dinner. (Yes, I can cook!) He loved the idea! I quickly ran to the store for chicken, herbs, cheese etc. I told him to pick up a movie along the way for an after dinner make-out/pillow kissing session for which he gladly obliged.
Slaving over a hot stove he shows around 8:30. I had gone to all the trouble to make this lovely dinner, and thinking he would follow my cue would get a gushy movie. He shows with an idiotic Jack Black movie about pirates or something ridiculous. I crack open a bottle of wine and serve a very nicely plated entrée. We nosh and have interesting conversation. I was truly enjoying his company… 
We finished eating and I told him to relax while I clean up. He happily obliged (since he had apparently been the only one who worked that day) and retreated to the sofa to watch me. I just finish cleaning when he starts kissing my neck. The boy knows what he’s doing, he was sure to let me know he had years of professional practice.
We are kissing deeply, pressed against the washer when we move the party to the living room. It started out as very romantic. Something that intimacy between us had been anything but. I found it incredibly erotic that we were actually going to explore a different avenue other than a cheap porn flick. Next thing I know, he wants it rough and dirty. I just smiled and kept the momentum of the romantic encounter going. He tried again, I kept kissing and looking at him saying ”I want to see your face.” Again, reverting to his confrontational self he starts sulking. Buzz-kill!!!
This is how it played out…
Me-“why does it always need to be porno?”
TSS- “because I like 69.” (I can appreciate this but I had to let him know…)
Me-”Look if I want just porn style fucking…I have an Adam account. I’m trying to date you and part of that is getting to know you intimately too.” No answer…surprising. “I have never argued with someone more in 3 weeks than anyone else in my entire life.”
TSS- “that’s because I’m assertive and know what I want.”
Me- “no it’s because you’re an asshole who love to debate.” Get the fuck out!”
On that note he did just that. I must admit I was sad to see him go…I really liked him. I think he knew it was doomed from the beginning too. I’m glamour he’s numbers. Just like oil and water, Starr and Al Jones…They just don’t mix
*Just an FYI…if you didn’t know I have a real shoe obsession. Love them and will treat myself occasionally to an overpriced designer pair. BIG FUCKING DEAL!!!